MAUSAM - Cringe worthy, Stupid, Sleeping Spoof

Route : MAUSAM is about Harry (shahid kapoor) and aayat (sonam), who are the most manoos SUPERcouple on the face of planet earth. whenever the 2 meet, they start riots or fuckin wars. the story starts from the backdrop of the 93' riots - extending into the kargil war in 99' - finally ending in the gujrat riots 03' (thank god), while taking the protagonist from Punjab-Scotland-Switzerland-new York-Ahmadabad. (in short, makin the travel agent a millionaire in the process). how the lovers get back together even after screwin the world (and the audience) after a 3-hour theater ordeal, forms the crux of the story.

Pick-ups : cinematography, art direction, shahid kapoor

Pot Holes : direction, music, story (wat story...where ...when....why), dialogues (simply childish), sonam, with a running length of 164 min, you can finish off a T-20 match and catch up on some uncensored MMS as wel.

Gibran's Cut : Dear Pankaj Kapoor,

MAUSAM has a very correct tagline 'timeless romance'...but i want to slightly edit it...it should have been 'timeless perverted romance'...because the movie is so boring and long that in the mean time, you can make-out twice with your girlfriend and still find time to check out a hot MILF in the theater. i just wish this movie had come out in my college time, so that i didnt had 2 turn-on my gf or force her 2 make-out with me, she would have just jumped on me out of sheer boredom. 

At 1 time in the climax (wen shahid's paralytic hand starts workin ...eureka....DUH), i was laughin so hard that i almost rolled on the floor, and then i understood that may b u wanted 2 make a spoof of all the romantic movies. like karan johar made a spoof on drama movies, called 'my name is khan'.

shahid is brilliant in the movie and i feel bad for him, cause i know he must tried hard 2 explain to his father, that this film doesn't have a story (conversation - shahid : wheres the story dad ??.... pankaj : wat story ? just shut the fuck up and say ur lines, if u finish ur lines i will just shoot the mountains and waste tons of film reels)

sonam is not an actor. just giggling all the time even if u r sad doesn't count as acting (she should just quit, grow hair on her body  like her dad and retire)

Finally, MAUSAM is a cringe worthy-stupid movie, which should be used as a sleeping pill. doctors should actually recommend it for insomnia. not even recommended for 1 viewing. stay at home and watch KBC instead.

RICKSHAVALA METER : */5 (for cinematography) and two middle fingers

APPROPRIATE FARE : free mein bhi mahengi hai but if u get 3 hours in a dark theater with your gf, then its a must-watch in the second week (Corner seats...ahem)

PS: this review was delayed for a week by the censor board