Bahubali

Dear S.S. Rajamouli,

I have been an avid fan of your films from Sye, Maghadheera to Eega. But its Bahubali, which makes you the biggest Director in Indian Cinema. You even cross Shankar in your vision and the amount of money spent.

The film revolves around a fictional kingdom in pre-historic era, where a boy grows up in a village beneath a waterfall and his raging hormones make him climb the waterfall for the hot Tamanna (i would have done the same dude, she is like pure milk). After climbing up and having an one-day stand with Tamanna (pre-historic chicks were easy man), the boy decides to go against the tyrant kingdom just cause he wants more sex from Tamanna (men and their libidos are bigger than anything bitches). But he soon realizes that he is the reincarnation of his father, who was the Tyrant king's brave brother. In the past, both brothers destroyed an evil kingdom but Bahubali was back stabbed by a trusted ally. The reason will be revealed in the next part (2016)

A lot has been said about the visual effects of the film and its definitely world class, even though we haven't reached Avatar or Lord of the Rings (their budgets are 4 times the budget of Bahubali. Between, Bahubali both parts are made in 450crores). But the effects are still commendable and they are a step in the right direction. The sets and costumes are awesome and the Production Designer, Sabu Cyril, deserves a national award for his efforts. Its a tough film to make because of the grand scale of its production and yes its worth every penny. 

The first half drags a bit but the director keeps you interested by showing a bare back Tamanna ( no effects required there) but its the second half which defines the film as the movie borrows from 300 part 2 and Meluha- The book, but Bahubali takes things to another level. Especially the war sequence is fabulous. 

The film isn't Maghadheera which was far superior in story telling (may be cause the 2nd part of Bahubali will be more satisfying) but the film is still remarkable and epic.

Prabhas does brilliantly and looks the part of the unbeatable Bahubali. Rana Daggubatti is phenomenal. He is evil and shows why he is one of the best actors down south. Tamanna is hot (pure mother dairy milk). Satyaraj as Katappa is mind blowing. But, its Ramya who delivers a stunning performance in an extended cameo as the Queen.

Overall, Bahubali in the future will be seen as a corner stone of epic Indian films. We still have a long way to reach Hollywood standards but beware we are knocking on your door Hollywood. 

Rating- ***half

Bajrangi Bhaijaan

Dear Kabir Khan,

I liked your Kabul Express, thought Kurbaan was better than New York and absolutely hated Ek Tha Tiger (it was better than Bodyguard would sound like poison is better than hanging). But, now with Bajrangi Bhaijaan you have finally arrived as a premiere director in Hindi cinema.

The film revolves about a mute Paki girl lost in India, and she finding a savoir in our Bhai. Bhai takes her to Pakistan with the help of Nawaz. In the End, Bhai finally returns triumphantly to India after finding the girl's parents.

Yes, after a long time you watch a Sallu movie which uses your cerebrum (for all your Sallu fans - that's a part of your brain). The story is interesting and Sallu brave heartedly gives the main lead to the child, Harshali Malhotra (who has more acting talent than Katrina & Zarine Khan combined). Its a fantastic film and you feel a lump in your throat in the climax (even though you feel ridiculed with the absurdity of the situation. But fuck it, its Bhai after all)

The scenes where Munni runs to have non veg or when she breaks into a victory dance after Pakis have won is worth mentioning. Also Om Puri's cameo is brilliant. And unlike Gadar, the hero gets whacked by the Pakis (yes you want to rip off a hand pump on seeing Bhai being tortured) but the real sense of the film is still maintained. The film is real, unlike any other Sallu film.

Except for the climax, which goes way over the top. The first half is a little stretched as Mrs. Kapoor Khan is pushed in the script. But the second half gains Nawaz instead of Kareena and the film sky rockets. The songs are bad and you rush out of the theatre for a smoke, only to realize its the boredom of the songs which want you to smoke (PS: i don't smoke and i still went out) BC. 

Salman Bhai is absolutely brilliant and he will bring tears to your eyes. This is his best ACTING performance after Tere Naam. Kareena is good as the junior artist. Nawaz is awesome, he is the highlight of the film. But, its Harshali Malhotra who brings the house down without saying anything in the movie. She is a star.

Overall, Bajrangi Bhaijaan will break many records because it strikes the rite cord with the audiences. It falters in the first half and has too many unbelievable situations. But chuck everything, because you connect with the film and it blurs out its shortcomings. Rejoice its Bhai Season this Eid.

Rating - ***half