Meeruthiya Gangsters

Dear Zeishan Quadri,

I have been associated with you since Wasseypur-1, and i was completely blown away with the creative vision and narrative grasp you have on a story and its characters. After some years of contemplating, you finally decided to helm the captain's chair and viola we have a gem named 'Meeruthiya Gangsters'.

The Plot revolves around friendship between 6 reckless youths from Meerut, which is one of the most dangerous areas in India (even though we met the nicest people in the world there). The youths want to earn money and take shortcuts to arrange the dough. Unfortunately, they get conned and their innocence turn into evil, which leads them to kidnap people and collect ransoms for a living. Eventually, their luck runs out when they come head to head with a tough sarcastic cop.

Firstly, i am too associated with the project to do a Review for the film and will not add any good or bad points of the film since it's my own first baby and it would be unfair as a reviewer to review my own film. But as the Screenplay writer of the film, i am satisfied that the film was made according to me and Zee bhai's vision. A piece of advice - It's not an ordinary masala film that you expect puns everywhere, and the shots are not your regular filmy taking. But, what holds the film is its Characters and the language. Real films with dark humor are a rarity these days and Meeruthiya is one of those rare films.

The reason i am writing this for my own film is to stand against those reviewers who have back lashed against the film without giving it a chance. Some Critics have loved it and some have hated it. The Critics who hated it doesn't necessarily mean they haven't got the money to write a positive feedback, it means that the reviewer didn't connect with the film. So, to write a review, a day prior to the release of the film, is plain backstabbing. At least give the chance to the audience to use their own brain to sense the film. By imposing the review to the world, before the release of the film, some reviewers are maligning small independent films.

This negative clout was formed around Bombay Velvet as well before its release and the film had to suffer even though it wasn't that bad.

If the film was that bad then why would senior reviewers like Komal Nahata or Mid day or Dainik Jagran give it positive reviews. Even on BookMyShow Meeruthiya fared better ratings than Katti Batti. May be the reviewer was having an off day and he released his frustration on the film. But atleast think of the hardwork put in by the team for one and half years behind the independent film.

I as a reviewer never give my feedback on any film before its release because today's audiences are easily influenced by words seeded into them, and this gives more responsibility to journalism and writers in general. I met many people in the theaters who loved the film and said they came with a lot of expectation after Wasseypur and they weren't disappointed. A young blogger even told me that negative reviews pushed him to see the film and felt sorry for the reviewers who gave it negative feedback since it shows the deep corruption in our journalism.

And finally now Meeruthiya is getting recognition on torrents and has been named one of the most underrated films of 2015.

Eventually, Meeruthiya did not break records at the box office. But i foresee a following for the film in the future like Andaz Apna Apna, which was panned and later became a cult for the next Gen.

For the people who have supported the film, wait for the return of Wasseypur next year kyunki Sab ka badla lega hamara Zeishan.

Rating- Only Audience's love :* :* :* :* :*

Phantom

Dear Kabir Khan,

This year you impressed and wowed the audiences with 'Bajrangi Bhaijaan' and now with Phantom, you continue your good form of technically brilliant films but Phantom sheds pace and logic in the second half.

The film revolves around a disgraced army commander who is sent on a mission-impossible to kill the 4 masterminds behind the 26/11 Taj attacks. The Hitman travels through many countries on a free-for-all visa and gets his mission accomplished.

The film is technically on par with Hollywood. The idea is like 'Inglorious Bastards' where a team of military people assassinate Hitler hypothetically. A film like this is a brave attempt as it is. The war scenes in Syria and the entire first half gives you a feeling of a Tom Cruise film. But the second half is where the problem lies. Post-interval, the film is very similar to D-Day & Baby making it a rehash of those films without anything new. The first half is fresh with smart writing and a kadak screenplay except that its 10-15mins long and could have been sharpened on the editing table. As soon as Saif enters Pakistan, the film goes in the cliche zone where the characters and the situation takes you back to old school Bollywood. Also, Katrina is sooooo miscasted. She has perfect hair during a War (ayyo bomb, lemme make my hair first). And then she has kajal and make up on during an assassination attempt. Her accent makes her look so fake. 

The Mir & Headley killings are interesting and the Syria environment is absolutely breathtaking. Also, the visual effects are very well executed. Special mention to the cinematography - brilliant.

Saif is good and does well especially after Agent Vinod which was on similar lines. Katrina is the weak link. All good emotional scenes are wasted on her.

Overall, Phantom is not Bajrangi, while Bajrangi gave you a pride feeling along with a peaceful atmosphere, Phantom brings the same negative feeling from our neighbors which came during 'Border'. Even though the film is an illusionary set up, we want the guilty to receive justice. Rest aside if only measured as a film, rather than a political issue, Phantom is a good film which can be definitely watched once.

Rating - **half

Brothers

Dear Karan Malhotra,

Your last film 'Agneepath' was an OK film but it managed to pull through, thanks to Rishi Kapoor's menacing role in it, but with 'Brothers' you get caught up with a heavy dose of cliche's and a weak screenplay.

The film revolves around the Fernandez family. Akshay has a grudge against his father Jackie (Not Jacqueline) and he lives away from his father and step brother Siddharth. The enmity in the family and the desperation of the situation leads the family to be involved in the MMA fighting matches. In the end, both Brothers wage war against each other but only one can win.

The film is an official remake of 'Warrior' (2011). Warrior itself was an OK film and had a Bollywood undertone, because it was very filmy. Though Tom Hardy's character (here played by Sid) was extraordinary. But the writer (Ekta Malhotra) has changed the screenplay to suit it to the Indian audiences.The problem lies here in the Screenplay of the film. The film is divided into 2 halves. The first half is the emotional back story while the second half has the action. The audience got so frustrated in the first half that i could see couples making out just to avoid wasting their ticket money (the make out scene in the theater kept me awake as well during the first half snooze fest). There is too much emotional drama in the first half that i once expected a sign of 'Glycerin Kills' instead of 'smoking kills'. Also, the music is bad and even the Kareena item song is misplaced and un-required (not all item songs become chikni chameli). The second half is interesting because it has the action but its too much too fast and doesn't let the audience rest. There is not a single scene which comes out of the arena and the film seems like a live pay-per-view WWE tournament. Hence, the action seems loud after sometime. The solution to this problem could have been a tighter screenplay, where they could have mixed the right amount of action and emotion from the start if the film started directly with the tournament.Also, Akshay's characterization is faulty when after loving Sid so much, he blames him for the problems in the family.

The action in the film is superlative. The cinematography deserves a standing ovation. The director sets the mood right during the fights and its thrilling to see international beef cakes fight our own Akshay paaji. Visually the film is stunning and looks like an international film.

Akshay does well and he uses his martial arts training to the hilt. Siddharth keeps on surprising me. He is a find for Hindi cinema. Jacquiline has nothing to do in the film. Shefali shah is such a live wire emotionally. But, its Jackie (not Fernandez but Shroff) who brings the house down with his portrayal of an alcoholic. His best performance after Parinda and Gardish.

Overall, Brothers could have been a good film but is let down by a struggling screenplay. If you like wrestling then you can go watch the movie after the interval but i suggest one saridon for the first half and one saridon for after the movie. 

Rating - **

Bahubali

Dear S.S. Rajamouli,

I have been an avid fan of your films from Sye, Maghadheera to Eega. But its Bahubali, which makes you the biggest Director in Indian Cinema. You even cross Shankar in your vision and the amount of money spent.

The film revolves around a fictional kingdom in pre-historic era, where a boy grows up in a village beneath a waterfall and his raging hormones make him climb the waterfall for the hot Tamanna (i would have done the same dude, she is like pure milk). After climbing up and having an one-day stand with Tamanna (pre-historic chicks were easy man), the boy decides to go against the tyrant kingdom just cause he wants more sex from Tamanna (men and their libidos are bigger than anything bitches). But he soon realizes that he is the reincarnation of his father, who was the Tyrant king's brave brother. In the past, both brothers destroyed an evil kingdom but Bahubali was back stabbed by a trusted ally. The reason will be revealed in the next part (2016)

A lot has been said about the visual effects of the film and its definitely world class, even though we haven't reached Avatar or Lord of the Rings (their budgets are 4 times the budget of Bahubali. Between, Bahubali both parts are made in 450crores). But the effects are still commendable and they are a step in the right direction. The sets and costumes are awesome and the Production Designer, Sabu Cyril, deserves a national award for his efforts. Its a tough film to make because of the grand scale of its production and yes its worth every penny. 

The first half drags a bit but the director keeps you interested by showing a bare back Tamanna ( no effects required there) but its the second half which defines the film as the movie borrows from 300 part 2 and Meluha- The book, but Bahubali takes things to another level. Especially the war sequence is fabulous. 

The film isn't Maghadheera which was far superior in story telling (may be cause the 2nd part of Bahubali will be more satisfying) but the film is still remarkable and epic.

Prabhas does brilliantly and looks the part of the unbeatable Bahubali. Rana Daggubatti is phenomenal. He is evil and shows why he is one of the best actors down south. Tamanna is hot (pure mother dairy milk). Satyaraj as Katappa is mind blowing. But, its Ramya who delivers a stunning performance in an extended cameo as the Queen.

Overall, Bahubali in the future will be seen as a corner stone of epic Indian films. We still have a long way to reach Hollywood standards but beware we are knocking on your door Hollywood. 

Rating- ***half

Bajrangi Bhaijaan

Dear Kabir Khan,

I liked your Kabul Express, thought Kurbaan was better than New York and absolutely hated Ek Tha Tiger (it was better than Bodyguard would sound like poison is better than hanging). But, now with Bajrangi Bhaijaan you have finally arrived as a premiere director in Hindi cinema.

The film revolves about a mute Paki girl lost in India, and she finding a savoir in our Bhai. Bhai takes her to Pakistan with the help of Nawaz. In the End, Bhai finally returns triumphantly to India after finding the girl's parents.

Yes, after a long time you watch a Sallu movie which uses your cerebrum (for all your Sallu fans - that's a part of your brain). The story is interesting and Sallu brave heartedly gives the main lead to the child, Harshali Malhotra (who has more acting talent than Katrina & Zarine Khan combined). Its a fantastic film and you feel a lump in your throat in the climax (even though you feel ridiculed with the absurdity of the situation. But fuck it, its Bhai after all)

The scenes where Munni runs to have non veg or when she breaks into a victory dance after Pakis have won is worth mentioning. Also Om Puri's cameo is brilliant. And unlike Gadar, the hero gets whacked by the Pakis (yes you want to rip off a hand pump on seeing Bhai being tortured) but the real sense of the film is still maintained. The film is real, unlike any other Sallu film.

Except for the climax, which goes way over the top. The first half is a little stretched as Mrs. Kapoor Khan is pushed in the script. But the second half gains Nawaz instead of Kareena and the film sky rockets. The songs are bad and you rush out of the theatre for a smoke, only to realize its the boredom of the songs which want you to smoke (PS: i don't smoke and i still went out) BC. 

Salman Bhai is absolutely brilliant and he will bring tears to your eyes. This is his best ACTING performance after Tere Naam. Kareena is good as the junior artist. Nawaz is awesome, he is the highlight of the film. But, its Harshali Malhotra who brings the house down without saying anything in the movie. She is a star.

Overall, Bajrangi Bhaijaan will break many records because it strikes the rite cord with the audiences. It falters in the first half and has too many unbelievable situations. But chuck everything, because you connect with the film and it blurs out its shortcomings. Rejoice its Bhai Season this Eid.

Rating - ***half

Tanu weds Manu Returns

Dear Aanand L Rai,

Yash Chopra in his hey days gave us love stories that we adore and admire for generations. Your films like Tanu weds Manu & Ranjhana, are the new age Desi love stories, which will be remembered for bringing the north flavor in our love meal. With Tanu weds Manu Returns, you continue your good form and prove that you are Yashji reborn (with a Desi touch)

The film takes off from it left us in the first part, but now Tanu & Manu are a couple in distress who last had sex in 2013 during bhaidooj (WTF brilliant). Tanu comes to India and tries to blow off steam by revisiting all her old flames while Manu returns from an asylum to send her a divorce notice. The story takes a turn when Datto appears in their life and Manu falls for the fiery Jatt. Rest of the film is a roller coaster ride between the trio and ends with a mushy climax.

The film is a total paisa vasool. It's entertaining, fresh and funny. The scenes where Manu's father breaks the tube light or Datto's outburst against Tanu are the highlight of the film. Special mention to its Dialogues, which are bound to get every award next season. Production value is superior than the first film and is a visual rustic treat.

The first half is like a breeze but the second half becomes a little sluggish and illogical. Why are the hot headed Jatt's quiet when Tanu creates a scene during a wedding? The climax too seems forced and the films ends abruptly. But, these are only minor hiccups because the film still manages to entertain and keep you engrossed.

Kangna is the life of the film. She is like the Meryl Streep of India. What a performance, whether its Datto or Tanu. Both characters are completely opposite to each other as she effortlessly slips into both characters. For once you believe it is 2 different actors who have played the characters. If Kangna is the new Khan, i am an avid fan. I m sure after Queen, this will be her next national award. 

Madhavan is calm and subtle. He emotes beautifully and has a good supporting role for the leads (Both Kangnas)

Deepak Dobriyal brings the house down in Pappi's role, he overacts in some scene but all is forgiven since the character required it.

Jimmy Shergill is not menacing as the first film but still good. He is so underrated.

Zeeshan Ayub is good but has the most illogical role in the film.

Overall, Tanu Weds Manu Returns is an awesome film to watch. Its not better than the first one but as good as the first one. Like Piku has to be seen with your parents, TWMR should be watched with your partner. This is a worthy sequel. Anand L Rai has to be rechristened as the new Age Baap of romance, And Kangna as the New age Khan. Bravo

Rating - ***half

Bombay Velvet

Dear Sir Anurag Kashyap,

Before i start saying anything about the film let me be clear - i don't think i am qualified enough in film making to review your film. Especially since you have been an institution and an inspiration for our generation. Your films from Black Friday to Ugly have been bad-ass raw films, which have prompted fearless people in this industry. But, with 'Bombay Velvet' you have deviated from your strengths and gave us an overcooked film.

The plot revolves around Scarface Ranbir who arrives in Bombay just after independence. He takes the Carlito's way to rise in the underbelly of Bombay. Finally, he meets a gay tabloid magnet Karan Johar, who grooms him into the Goodfellas and Godfathers. In between his obsession for his girlfriend Anushka makes him a Raging Bull, ready to fight anyone for no reason. In the end, he has a showdown with the fruitcake baddie aka Scarface & Breathless.

The problem lies that Anurag's sirs obsession with World Cinema has prompted him to deviate away from his roots, which is rawness and quirkiness. Even after the entire film, you do not feel for the lead protagonist. The first 15 mins you scramble to recognize so many characters, its like the Opening of Hum saath saath hai. You had told me once that 'a film is not like a bullet hence it has to build slowly' but BV builds so slowly that non filmy buffs loose interest till the interval. Post interval, Anushka's twin sister angle kills the mood for the filmy buffs, who can't handle such a major loophole. The cliche climax doesn't help the situation. Also, although visually stunning, Ranbir being a boxer doesn't help the story. Hence i feel too many layers to the characters made them too unbelievable and unrealistic, which hampers the most important factor from a Kashyap film. This is the same thing Tarantino fucked up in Jackie Brown

But, the film has its moments. Ranbir's reaction to the Parsi editor when Anushka returns is fabulous. The scene where Ranbir's friend helps him in the shootout is the stand out scene. While Karan johar coming out to laugh and the Santaclock scene is classic Kashyap (this is what we wanted to see from you sir). The sets are amazing along with the graphics. The costumes and art direction deserves an award. Also, the background steals the thunder(brilliant). It's a difficult film which is painstakingly made, the results are seen visually. The film is too ahead of its time because it requires multiple viewing to understand the various layers and equations between the characters.

Ranbir is brilliant and puts up his best performance till date. Anushka does well and looks cute but in some scenes her lips looks puffed (sarcasm). Karan Johar is not consistent. KK is wasted. Only Satyadeep Misra as Ranbir's friend stands out and excels.

In the end, Bombay Velvet is bad but not that bad that people are crucifying Anurag Sir. It's the expectation from a world class filmmaker that has prompted so many negative reviews about the film. It's not Wasseypur or Black Friday but it ain't Besharam or Aag as well. I urge people to watch it before they get influenced by others. Bombay Velvet is definitely a-1 time watch and should not be missed even for the wrong reasons. And for Anurag Sir, Tarantino gave his most strongest film after Jackie Brown (ie: Kill Bill) so the Phoenix will rise from the ashes and deliver a knock out punch soon. He will be back... You will be back and we will be waiting eagerly. Till then we can just sit back and sulk as Anurag's sirs haters crucify him.

Rating - **half